Stupid Questions

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations and
some equally stupid answers :-

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends
Stupid Question: – Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Well, it’s so hot; there were no cool cabs so I thought i’d
watch some advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.

2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on
your feet
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia….. Why don’t you try
again or should i try this time.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the “blah blah blah” dish good
Answer:- No, its teribble and made of adulterated cement.We occasionaly
also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together.When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you’re marrying good?
Answer:- No, he’s a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout…it’s just
the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was playing cricket for India at Sharjah and just when
you called Salim Malik was betting with me that Pakistan would win. What
do you think?

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I’m shedding……

9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts
Answer:- And while I’m telling you, you tell me if I bite.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks
Stupid Question :-Oh, so you smoke
Answer :-No, it’s a miracle ………..it was a chalk and now it’s in
flames!!!

Questions I’ve never been able to answer

Whose IDEA WAS IT THAT WE SHOULD WORK FIVE DAYS IN A WEEK? (WHY NOT THREE?)
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?

What is the speed of darkness?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for “normal” people at the Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

Do you cry under water?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder……

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s bum.”

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t
point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs !
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (Is it testical )
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from ?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?