Proof of what can happen if a wife drags her husband along
to go shopping.
Dear Mrs. Murry,
Our store is considering banning your family from ever
shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of
offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance
cameras.
MEMO
Re: Complaints
15 Things Mr. Wayne Murry has done while his spouse is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them
in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off
at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading
to the tampons section.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
official tone, Code 3″ in housewares….. and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag
of M&M’s on lay-by.
6. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
told the shoppers he’d invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from
the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he
begins to cry and asks, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it
as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department and asked
the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly
humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practised his
“Madonna look” using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
browse through, yelled “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker he assumes the foetal position and screams “NO! NO! It’s those
voices again!!!
And; last, but not least..
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
waited while; then yelled, very loudly, “There is no toilet paper
in here!”
