In Honour of Stupid People … In case you needed further proof that
the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label
instructions on consumer goods.
· On Woolworth’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on
the bottom) – “Do not turn upside down.” (well…duh, a bit late,
huh!)
· On Pick n’ Pay’s peanuts – “Warning: contains
nuts.” (talk about a news flash)
· On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine – “Do not
drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.” (We
could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those
bulldozers.)
· On a Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding – “Product
will be hot after heating.” (…and you thought????)
· On a Clicks hairdryer – “Do not use while
sleeping.” (That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)
· On a bag of Simba Chips – “You could be a
winner! No purchase necessary! Details inside.” (the shoplifter
special?)
· On a bar of Dove soap – “Directions: Use like
regular soap.” (and that would be???)
· On some Checkers frozen dinners – “Serving
suggestion: Defrost.” (please note that it’s just a suggestion.)
· On the packaging of a Rowenta iron – “Don’t
iron clothes on body.” (but wouldn’t this save me time?)
· On Nytol Sleep Aid – “Warning: May cause
drowsiness.” (..I’m taking this because???)
· On some brands of Christmas lights of Eastern
origin – “For indoor or outdoor use only.” (As opposed to what?)
· On a Japanese food processor – “Not to be
used for the other use.” (Now, somebody out there, please help me on
this. I’m a bit curious.)
· Instructions on a SA Airways packet of
peanuts – [1] Open packet; [2] Eat nuts. (Step 3: say what?)
· On a child’s Superman costume – “Wearing of
this garment does not enable you to fly.” (Don’t blame the company. I
blame the parents for this one.)
· On a German chainsaw – “Do not attempt to
stop chain with your hands or genitals.” (Donner und blitzenl! Was
there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
